Should somebody have greeted you first? Should someone have sent you an SMS? Did somebody forget to invite you? In short: should people have treated you differently? Within ourselves, all of us tend to keep a constant balance or reconciliation of accounts with others. What have I done for him, and what has he done for me in return? Does the attention I give him correspond to what I receive in return? Are my particular values and efforts, my individuality, adequately respected and recognised? In general we trend to place a higher value on our own importance and that of what we contribute than on that of others. We always expect too much, and misjudge our own importance. If the other person measures according to a different standard, we are disappointed and negative. This state of mind, which can occupy several hours of the day for some people, costs a great deal of valuable energy. Moreover, in this condition we have ceased to exist because we have become part of it and lost ourselves in it. It is useless to pretend that this treatment or neglect does not bother you if it does in fact bother you. You will only begin to develop a hard shell towards other people. Instead this protective wall must be broken down and replaced with understanding.
We must understand that we react to things mechanically, are not permanent personalities and are not really conscious. But it is not only we who are such humanoid machines – the others are too. So when you judge somebody else: He is such-and-such ..., please remember that your own condition is by no means better and that the things you accuse him of equally apply to you – only you are not aware of it. You think other people are difficult, but you do not realise that you yourself are no less difficult in their eyes.
And here is another thought that can help you to more easily accept what appears to be neglect on the part of others: while all of us repeatedly like to think that other people do things to hurt us deliberately, this is almost never the case. The other person neglects us with just as little intent as we neglect others – he is not conscious, he is just not aware that he is offending you.
Let’s remember our physical WT: we cannot push the opponent away, therefore we push ourselves away from him. We cannot change anything about his behaviour, but we alone can control our reaction to his behaviour. We can change. We can determine how we will react. An action or lack of action by another does not necessarily have to make us negative, it only gives us an impulse in that direction. This impulse does not entitle us to become negative. We have the right not to respond negatively, not to be the slaves of automatic or acquired reactions.
Reacting negatively is always wrong and a sin towards yourself, for it will make you ill. Thinking in this way leads to terrible internal ailments. Nonetheless, many people enjoy having such negative emotions. They would rather sacrifice their health than their negative attitude, which robs them of all the energy they urgently need to become awake.
We must stop taking ourselves so seriously. Instead of laughing at others we should laugh at ourselves more. In olden times there were jesters who were allowed to remind great lords of their own ridiculousness without fear of punishment. Let us be our own jesters!