RE-THINKING AND FORGIVING
I am trying to resist the urge to indulge in too much self-pity, as this is a harmful, energy-sapping emotion which contributes nothing and changes nothing, neither the external circumstances nor my way of thinking.
The external circumstances only change if one changes oneself, if in WT terms one pushes oneself away instead of the other person and if one begins to think "differently" or re-thinks in the sense of the Greek "meta-noia" in the Bible, which is usually incorrectly translated as "penitence" or "repentance".
But if you like, I have been doing my penitence in the Christian sense and have forgiven those who have wronged me. I have forgiven those of whom I thought that they had done me harm intentionally, and it has certainly done me good. Those who know me slightly better, also know that in my view nobody can do bad things "intentionally".
I have held mental conversations with those who have "wronged" me, and have put myself in their positions and argued in their favour. It turned out that not one of them actually wanted to harm me, but only wanted to protect himself from supposed harm, wanted to benefit himself or was quite simply thoughtless. Since we are all made this way, I can live with it and no longer take it personally.
This act of forgiveness, cancelling the debit balance of others, is something I would urge you all to do on a day-to-day basis, preferably before you go to sleep and not just at the year-end.
This technique is a kind of mental Bong-Sao from the most spiritual and highest level of WingTsun, with which one allows the burden to slip off. It requires the capability and will to put yourself in the other person's position, but if you manage to do this you feel relieved, as if a heavy load has been taken from your shoulders.
If this causes you to think that forgiveness is therefore a form of hygiene for the soul, and a selfish thing, then I must concede that you are right!
But owing to the fact that you are then once again at ease with yourself, you will become better people and can interact with others better. In this respect forgive benefits all, and is so easy.
Why not try it yourselves! Write an SMS or email to those you have instinctively and thoughtlessly wronged. Do it right away, don't put it off, for nothing is more important! It will do you good as well as the recipient. And forgive those with whom you still think you have a bone to pick.
With this in mind I wish you all a very happy New Year.
Keith R. Kernspecht